rules for attending a show...especially if you are in the pit
So my recent experience at an Unwritten Law show has prompted me to remind all of you of a few things.... I’ve stressed this before, but never put it in writing...
Rule: NO and I mean NO FUCKING making out in the pit!!!!! Get a damn room, or go to the corner and do that shit!!!
Rule: Ladies please refrain from bringing purses into the pit, it makes me want to take them away and beat you about the head area....
Rule: Gentlemen, if you are bringing one of the following: date, girlfriend, fuck buddy, or anyone that cannot fend for themselves, please refrain from going into the pit. All they do is complain and take up space. Leave them at the bar if you must, they may go home with someone else, but that's a risk you're going to have to take.
Rule: Again ladies please no heels, flip-flops, or open-toed footwear; again you are only looking to get injured.
Rule: NO dirty smelly old men, especially if you haven't been introduced to our good friend Mr. Shower, or his close relative Mr. Deodorant. Please for everyone else’s enjoyment, and mine do not attend the show at all, until you have been disinfected.
Rule: Ladies, again with the attire, skirts are not a good wardrobe choice for the pit, enough said.
Rule: CROWDSURFERS!!! Yes you!!! You all are annoying, un-original, fuckers!!!! I have been knocked out by one of you before, and am still pissed about it. So if you plan partaking in this horrendous activity, consider yourself warned. I will be doing everything in my power to cause you major discomfort. If you happen to "float" toward me it's your balls on the line, and I won't hesitate to remove them from your possession.
Rule: Gentlemen, I am not a rubbing post, keep your damn groin area away from my ass, and your fucking hands to yourself. I am not attending the show to meet my future whatever; I am there for one thing and one thing only, the band. If you feel the need to rub against someone, I'm sure there's a drunken girl stumbling somewhere in the venue (probably wearing a skirt, heels, and carrying a purse) that's more than willing to participate. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!!!
Rule: Psycho fangirls who just have to be as close to the lead singer as possible. He cannot hear or see you, stop trying to push your way through. OH! I hate to disappoint, but he doesn't know you fucking exists so stop trying to grope him while he's on stage.
I would now like to take this time to thank those fellow show-goers who know and understand the previously stated, but should be obvious, rules/guidelines on pit attendance. I'm sure I will have things to add to this in the future and if anyone who reads this can think of any please let me know and I will amend this, to fit them in.
P.S.
A special thanks to the HOB security who removed the psycho fangirl chick who I would have probably decked soon, had you not removed her for being a total bitch.
Rule: NO and I mean NO FUCKING making out in the pit!!!!! Get a damn room, or go to the corner and do that shit!!!
Rule: Ladies please refrain from bringing purses into the pit, it makes me want to take them away and beat you about the head area....
Rule: Gentlemen, if you are bringing one of the following: date, girlfriend, fuck buddy, or anyone that cannot fend for themselves, please refrain from going into the pit. All they do is complain and take up space. Leave them at the bar if you must, they may go home with someone else, but that's a risk you're going to have to take.
Rule: Again ladies please no heels, flip-flops, or open-toed footwear; again you are only looking to get injured.
Rule: NO dirty smelly old men, especially if you haven't been introduced to our good friend Mr. Shower, or his close relative Mr. Deodorant. Please for everyone else’s enjoyment, and mine do not attend the show at all, until you have been disinfected.
Rule: Ladies, again with the attire, skirts are not a good wardrobe choice for the pit, enough said.
Rule: CROWDSURFERS!!! Yes you!!! You all are annoying, un-original, fuckers!!!! I have been knocked out by one of you before, and am still pissed about it. So if you plan partaking in this horrendous activity, consider yourself warned. I will be doing everything in my power to cause you major discomfort. If you happen to "float" toward me it's your balls on the line, and I won't hesitate to remove them from your possession.
Rule: Gentlemen, I am not a rubbing post, keep your damn groin area away from my ass, and your fucking hands to yourself. I am not attending the show to meet my future whatever; I am there for one thing and one thing only, the band. If you feel the need to rub against someone, I'm sure there's a drunken girl stumbling somewhere in the venue (probably wearing a skirt, heels, and carrying a purse) that's more than willing to participate. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!!!
Rule: Psycho fangirls who just have to be as close to the lead singer as possible. He cannot hear or see you, stop trying to push your way through. OH! I hate to disappoint, but he doesn't know you fucking exists so stop trying to grope him while he's on stage.
I would now like to take this time to thank those fellow show-goers who know and understand the previously stated, but should be obvious, rules/guidelines on pit attendance. I'm sure I will have things to add to this in the future and if anyone who reads this can think of any please let me know and I will amend this, to fit them in.
P.S.
A special thanks to the HOB security who removed the psycho fangirl chick who I would have probably decked soon, had you not removed her for being a total bitch.
posted by needygoldfish at 11:27 AM
1 Comments:
More people should read this. haha
hi
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